Meltdown City - When Tantrums Take Over
💥 Do YOUR kids have meltdowns? 💥
I’ve really been navigating a tough season with this lately.
We’re in Meltdown Mode 🫠 a LOT these days.
It reminds me of the challenges so many of you share with me and how much we all need support, validation, and a few tips (though you are ALWAYS the expert on your own family).
Meltdowns ARE one of the toughest parts of parenting.
For some of you, this isn’t just an occasional occurrence—it’s a daily, or even multiple-times-a-day, reality. It’s relentless. It’s exhausting. And sometimes, it’s downright scary.
I see how hard it is when you’re already spent from your day, only to face the tidal wave of your child’s big emotions. These moments don’t just affect our kids; they affect us, too. Our own nervous systems get caught in the chaos, leaving us reactive, overwhelmed, and wondering if we have anything left to give.
But here’s what I want you to know: You are not failing.
These meltdowns don’t mean something is wrong with your child—or you. They’re a sign that your child feels safe enough to release the weight of their day in your presence.
The Science: Polyvagal Theory and Why Co-Regulation Matters
Our nervous systems are designed to connect. When your child is melting down, their brain is stuck in survival mode:
Fight or Flight: Overwhelm, frustration, or panic.
Shutdown: Hopelessness or withdrawal.
Your calm presence can act as an anchor to pull them back to safety. But here’s the tricky part—you can only help them regulate if your own nervous system is grounded.
When you’re tired or triggered, it’s natural to slip into your own fight, flight, or freeze mode. The key is finding simple, science-backed ways to steady yourself in the moment.
Grounding Tools for Parents
Here are a few proven strategies to help you stay calm, so you can co-regulate with your child:
Resonant Breathing:
Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6. The longer exhale soothes your nervous system, helping you return to calm. This also helps your child, as they will often match their breath to ours.
Humming or Singing:
A soft hum or song vibrates your vagus nerve, signaling safety and shifting you out of survival mode.
Grounding with Your Senses:
Look around and name (to yourself if it ramps them up to hear you talk) five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Body Awareness:
Stand tall, roll your shoulders back, and feel your feet firmly on the ground. Visualize roots connecting you to the earth, and a string from the very top of your head, pulling you up.
A Simple Check-In:
Place a hand on your chest or stomach and ask yourself: What do I need in this moment? Even recognizing your own feelings can create space for calm.
Why This Matters
When you steady yourself, you create a ripple effect. Your calm signals safety to your child, helping them move back toward connection and regulation. This isn’t just about surviving meltdowns—it’s about building trust and resilience in your relationship.
